Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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