if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize