summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize