This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
