I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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