I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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