God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
