currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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