Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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