you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
