TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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