you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This toilet bowl is my home.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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