it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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