wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The best revenge is premature balding
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
