I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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