You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
