Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
