its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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