i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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