had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just wanna be euthanized
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his