So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.