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I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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