That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
