My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
