yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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