I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We don't watch enough power rangers
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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