this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
And then he peed in my hair
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