I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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