he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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