I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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