Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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