Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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