My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
