Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
