Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
