hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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