Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
