I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
