I just gift wrapped bread.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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