It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
