well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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