OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
