Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
