How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
