so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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