You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
