Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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