so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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