Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
