..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
