ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
