glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
