so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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