the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
