i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Drunk is a universal language darling
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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