The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
