I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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