Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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