how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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