hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize