..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
MIDGETS
????
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
